‘Til Death Do Us Part

I’m officiating a wedding for friends this weekend. It’s my first time so I have some practice ceremonies lined up later. I hope I don’t do such a good job in the practice ceremonies that I accidentally legally marry my volunteers. That would be just my luck!

Safe to say it’s been on my brain. I keep reminding myself of all the important things.

Don’t forget to sign the papers.

Don’t say the wrong names.

Don’t talk about yourself during the ceremony.

Of course I have a script, but I am famous (infamous?) for going off script.

I’m sure it will be fine, but please keep me in your thoughts!

But all this wedding talk got me thinking about all the relationships we compare to marriage. Especially business partnerships.

Just like the honeymoon phase of a marriage, business partnerships tend to start out strong. Sure, sometimes you have a partner only because you need their investment (ie; you marry them for money), but in business, that’s not taboo.

But just like in marriage, your business relationship can hit a rough patch. And often, it’s about communication (or lack thereof).

A past client sought my advice when they wanted out of the business they’d started from seed, cultivated and grown into a thriving organization. At some point, they took on a few business partners. Business was finally thriving, but they wanted out just before they could really harvest the fruits of their labour.

They wanted my help to negotiate a reasonable exit.

I didn’t do that. At least not right away.

First, I talked about other options. Talk it out, mediate, get back on track. Maybe buy the other partners out and stay with the business.

They were uninterested.

By that point, the partnerships issues were ongoing for a couple of years. And these weren’t just personality differences, there was a lot going on. But there hadn’t been any real discussion of what was wrong, just an increasing disengagement from one another and the business itself.

The partners were entrenched.

Most likely, they were entrenched because they hadn’t discussed anything.

They didn’t actually know what one another felt, believed or experienced, but they had assumptions, judgments and stories about what they thought was going on.

I’m not saying they would have remained business partners, but at least they would have had a clearer lay of the land.

So my client quit the business. A business they were good at, had enjoyed doing, but never got to truly enjoy the success of.

Look, I’ve only had one business partner (which lasted two months). I know I don’t have it all figured out.

But I believe in the power of candid communication over silence, politeness, assumptions and stories.

My former business partner is now one of my closest friends, and that closeness came after we decided not to be business partners. We made that decision after a really candid conversation that helped us realize we had different goals. For us, the best outcome was to part ways early and amicably.

Whatever the phase of your personal or business marriage - don’t put off talking about the issues. .

Talking, listening and learning will always be more productive and help you reach a better outcome, whatever that looks like.